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If you have a partner, then there is no way around it. You must start talking to your partner about money to get on the same wavelength regarding your financial goals, wants and needs.
Studies have shown that couples who are not aligned in their financial goals are much more likely to split than those who are working toward the same financial goals.
It can be a very difficult situation to deal with. Maybe you are a saver and he is a spender. You might want to make sure that you can both retire comfortably and he may just want to live in the here and now. He might have a dream of building a business and you are too afraid of the financial risks.
How can both of you, with such different money goals and mindsets, ever agree upon anything? Well, this will not just magically happen. But with some communication and respect for each other’s wants and needs, both of you can do it. Which is why talking to your partner about money is crucial.
Tips for Talking to Your Partner About Money
Make a Money Date
You both need to take time to talk about your finances. Make a money date when you both can have time to discuss your finances, budget, goals, and savings.
Make sure that you pick a time where you are less likely to have interruptions. Mark your calendars to make this a monthly occasion so both of you are up to date with everything that is going on.
Here are some tips on talking to your partner about money so you can work towards BOTH your goals while keeping the peace.
It may be difficult to try talking to your partner about money at first, there may be some reactions to certain things that you or he wants that will cause some friction. It’s a good idea for both of you to write down your goals, wants and needs. You should also write down why these are important and what it means to you.
Exchange your letters a day or so before your first money date. This will give each of you time to absorb what the other is wanting. This really helps to explain yourselves without any quick reactions from each other.
At your first money date, you both should be asking questions about the others letters. If there are things that you both disagree upon, this would be the time to talk calmly about them.
You may not think that some of his points are important or vice versa, only to realize how much it really means to your partner after some discussion.
Once you both know what the other is wanting, it’s time to set your financial goals. Start out with the things that you both are wanting out of life to make the transition smooth.
Are you both determined to finally get out of debt? Do both of you want to buy a house in the near future? If you are both on the same page with some of your goals then these will be the easiest to address.
Next work in some of both of your other goals into your plan. Nobody is right or wrong here. There is going to have to be some give and take on both your parts to come to an agreement.
Create a Plan
Now that you have both come to an agreement on the goals that you want, it’s time to make a plan on how you are going to work together to make it happen.
Create a budget that includes both your goals equally. There may be areas that are going to have to take a backseat here.
For instance, if there is debt that you are both in agreement that needs to go. Then concentrating on that first instead of some of both of your other wants (equally) would be a good idea.
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Set a time and date to meet and stick to the schedule. It may be weekly, bi-weekly or monthly. Whatever works for both of you. If you don’t then all the hard work you both have done will go down the drain with nothing accomplished.
Make it fun, go out for dinner or take a stroll by the lake. You will still accomplish what you need to do in a more relaxed atmosphere.
Listen to Each Other
Each time you meet, discuss your progress and your wins as well as what each of you might be struggling with. Help each other with your struggles and find ways to make them work for the both of you.
Being in a relationship is a partnership. There will have to be some give and take on both your parts. Talking through things and being understanding is the only way you will both be satisfied.
You truly can not do it by yourself no matter what. And wouldn’t it be so much easier if you both were working towards the same goals? Now, go plan your first money date now.
Do you have any tips on talking to your partner about money that you could add to this? Please leave a comment to share them with us.
I think it’s a great idea for couples to take Financial Peace University together – whether already married or just considering it. I’ve hosted those groups for a few years now and the engaged couples who’ve gone through always get a ton of great results from it.
This is the first I hear of the Financial Peace University but sounds like a great option for couples who are struggling should check out. Please leave a link on how to enroll if you want to.
It’s Dave Ramsey’s 9-week course on personal finances. Here’s the link to his site in case you or anyone else wants more information: https://www.daveramsey.com/fpu